I think a better question for this week would have been “what motivates you?” This post will reflect on that question.
When Mister was young, I thought anything I did for myself was selfish. Shopping for clothes to fit my changing body, exercise, and for a little while, even going to the bathroom if it meant putting Mister down. Slowly, I learned (heck, I’m still learning) that anything I did for myself would also help him.
It isn’t an easy lesson. I think there’s something inside of me, and every mother, that makes me want to be the best mother I can for my child. Putting my needs first goes against that instinct.
By taking care of Mister first, I felt like I was teaching him that he mattered, that he was safe, and that I loved him. And he learned those things. But when I take care of myself first sometimes, I’m also teaching Mister important lessons. He’s learning patience, taking turns, and that other people have needs that matter too. This isn’t an easy lesson either.
The most important lesson, though, is what I think I teach him when I take a “break” from near constant one-on-one to pay attention to my need to write. I teach him to have dreams and work toward them. I teach him how to focus and to give best efforts. I teach him to never settle. Meanwhile, I’m learning too. Mister has taught me that the purpose for writing goes beyond myself.
Teaching Mister important life lessons, and learning my own, is one of the things that motivates me to write. Here are some other things that motivate me:
A need to be heard
Having a creative outlet
Needing a project
Proving to myself that I can succeed
Finding somewhere to focus my determination
I hope you find an extra dose of whatever motivates you today (maybe even in the posts that follow?). Here are some more posts on writing motivation: